Warning: Long Cat Story Ahead

I blame my cat for this mess of an outfit. It’s all Roy’s fault that I’m wearing navy, black, and brown together. He is responsible for this terrible mishmash of styles: cowgirl, mod, nautical, and rocker. He has so upset my state of mind that I chose this terribly clashing background. I think I’ll also blame him for my frizzy hair.


Jacket, Focus 2000 (thrifted). Dress, swapped and shortened. Boots, Dan Post. Watch Vivani (gift). Bag, Carlos Santana. Sunnies, Betsey Johnson.

Roy has separation anxiety. If I’m gone from home for more than 12 hours (and that happens fairly often), he’s likely to urinate on the bed when I return.* I’m aware of the problem, so I when I arrive home, I usually accompany him to the litter box, wait for him to pee, and reward him for going in the box.

Yesterday, I was gone all day, returning at around 10:30 at night. I could tell he was anxious, so I went to the box with him, but he did some other business and ran back upstairs. I thought I had dodged the bullet.

I was tired and stressed about a long day on Friday. I’m a planner, so I began assembling everything I’d need for work and the LBD event the next day. I tried on my dress (fresh from the cleaners) to make sure it still fit and was undamaged. I was pulling out my new shoes, to try with the dress, when I smelled cat pee. Roy was behind me, on the bed, letting loose. I wanted nothing more than to rewind time.

I cleaned up the mess and deodorized the mattress but the bed was unusable for the night. I slept on the couch (really a loveseat) and Beefy slept on the recliner. It was an uncomfortable night and we were all (me, Beefy, and 4 cats) upset by the change in routine. I awoke feeling unrested and hungover. (I only had a single drink last night, I promise.)

I didn’t manage my time well this morning. I hit snooze too many times. I spaced out in the shower. I spent way too long on my eyeliner. I kept misplacing things.

Usually, I choose my outfits for the week on the weekend prior, so that I don’t have to think in the morning. However, I couldn’t wear my pre-chosen outfit because the ladies at work decided, on Thursday, that Friday would be cowboy boot day. The boots would have looked pretty silly with the outfit I had initially planned. So, I threw this mess together while rushed, tired, and pissed-off (literally).


Photos by Beefy Muchacho

Have you ever heard the expression, “You don’t train a cat; the cat trains you?” Well, I got some extra reinforcement last night. Ugh.

*Beefy and I have different theories for this behavior. I think it has something to do with mommy-issues and the “relief” of having me home. Beefy says Roy pees on the bed because he’s mad about being abandoned all day.